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I dislike the fact I assume something and it just isn’t so…. Why am I always the one hurt?? Wtf

PILATES!!! Ahhhhhhh

It is so tiring when things you say aren’t believed even when it’s from your own experience. Sometimes you don’t fucking know everything. I have done things and know things you don’t fucking know about! Stop fucking treating me like I’m a fucking idiot!

Frustrated! For years I took my mom places. Now that I’m living with her again she never asks me to take place but has my sister take her. I don’t get it I’m here able to take her to doctors appointments, to the grocery store, target or walmart. Why doesn’t she ask me? Am I not good enough? Doesn’t she trust me to drive her? She has no idea how much she hurts my feelings. I can’t take it. Why? What the fuck is wrong with me that I’m not asked? I’m hate it!! I’m sick of being treated like poison or I’ve got something wrong with me. Why?

Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I did to be treated so poorly by my family. Woke up earlier than normal this morning, took a shower, took the dog out, made a cup of coffee and my mom is nothing but a snotty to me. I don’t get it. She asked what I was doing today and I told her, maybe she thinks its just stupid of me to think I can make anything from modeling or getting photos taken but its not. I’ve been asked to do shoots. I just don’t get it. I guess I’m just not good enough for her. So tired of this shit!

It’s funny knowing I won’t hear from my son for a few weeks is driving me nuts, I am constantly checking my phone in hopes to get a message from him. I really miss hearing from him daily! This stinks.

As I learn about things going on with others and realize I’m left out of the loop I wonder why? Am I that bad of a person? I only wants what is best. I haven’t felt this low in a long time as I do right now. It’s funny no one know how much they hurt me and I bet they don’t care. It’s a wonder I’m still around. The first opportunity and I’m out of here. Don’t care where just gone. No looking back. I’m tired of being hurt and by those I thought loved me. That really sucks.

Wow!!! Life is looking up!!! It’s been a awful road I’ve been on!! I realized I’ve been sheltered and the felt thrown to the wolves but now I can see a better road is awaiting!!!

Happy Birthday to the best son ever!!! I love you and I’m so proud of you for taking control of life!!! I’m one lucky mom to have such a wonderful son!!!

Wow starting over is hard but the whole dating thing is even worse. It’s crazy to see adults trying to act young, I’m embarrassed for them. Scared to talk to guys, I don’t want to be used again. How do I know they are genuine? Or after one thing?